james on the go

WHARRBLLL WHARRBBLLL

jamesonthego — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 21:39:26 +0000

Feeling sucky. want to talk to you but I won’t because I dont think it matters anymore. Been thinking about you a lot lately and that makes things worse. Everything kinda sucks. At least school is almost over and I’ll be in another country soon.

However, it is exam time so I’m sure this is just a byproduct of exam stress, which is good? I dunno. I’m sure youre busy with end of semester stuff as well so I wouldnt want to mess with your head with my sillyness. Maybe I will leave you an FB message (no I wont).

Back to studying, kinda… this is making it very hard.

Reconsidered

jamesonthego — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 17:14:52 +0000

After thinking about that again. I think I’m just going to start writing adventures. You’ll have nothing to do with them.

LOL or maybe im crazy

jamesonthego — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:38:12 +0000

So, instead of just being bored all day Because I’m not talking to you. I think I’m going to just write you into a bunch of adventures and txt them to you. I will find much enjoyment in that and hopefully make you smile .

I lost

jamesonthego — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 12:06:42 +0000

Dammit. I lost the “game” and txted you yesterday. It was a legitimate question though, but I’m sure you won’t respond. Thinking of this situation as a game makes it a bit easier too, lol not sure why. It’s like a will power game testing my mind. I’m going to try not to anticipate your txt all day. But I’m sure that’s what will end up happening.

I actually had to go to my google contacts page go into ALL numbers and actually get your number, which makes me feel even more silly. And since your number is back on my phone I’m sure I’ll end up txting you again either today or tomorrow.

I’d like to make a perdiction: we will see eachother tomorrow and end up having sex. Because I know after 1 drink you can’t take your eyes of me.

In other news my cousin is cycling across NA. He’s the coolest.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck

jamesonthego — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 15:15:45 +0000

I wish my heart didn’t jump everytime I get a txt becUse I think it’s you. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Confession

jamesonthego — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 14:41:22 +0000

I just came to the realization that I would be embarassed to tell anyone that I still have feelings for you after the way you’ve treated me over the past week. Which is really fucked up. Thinking of that will help me get over you though so that’s good. I wonder if you’d tell me if you were working this week? Probably not I’m guessing. Like.. I kind of want to txt you jut to ask if we are still friends or not but you probably wouldn’t answer that either. Oh well, I’ll just continue blogging my feelings and thoughts until I’m over it.

In other news, debating on getting BBQ today at work, but I brought a lunch. Hmmmm…

Decisions decisions

jamesonthego — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 11:10:04 +0000

Contemplating txting you for a ride. I’ve got until the afternoon to decide. I hate these games.

If you couldn’t tell all other aspects of my life are breezy

Bored bored bored

jamesonthego — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 19:31:12 +0000

Oh geez. I’ve had a growing sense of unrest for the past few weeks. It seems every time my mind is in idle I just get bored immediately and start feeling anxious. It’s really weird. I need to pick up some hobbies, but I’m too cheap to pay for anything. Hmm, maybe I’ll start playing CS again?

To continue the on going theme of my last couple of posts…. I wonder if we’re still friends? And would it be awkward to ask for my clothes back (even though I don’t really care if you keep them I just want an excuse to see you)? Or should I let you keep them to remind you of me..that’s lame but it worked last lulz.

Thoughts of an idle mind

jamesonthego — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:16:11 +0000

So bored at work I was browsing facebook. I was actually sitting here trying to think of something funny to write on your wall. But then came to the realization that it doesn’t matter and there’s no need/point. Then I thought, how awesome would it be if I added your BF on facebook. Would he even accept me LOL. He obviously knows something was going on, he probably doesn’t know for how long though. Either way I wouldn’t want to put you threw any unecessary termoil. And I’d want to see his reaction more than anything so it would be a waste.

I’m feeling a bit less down today which is nice. I’ve still got that “I hope she txts me” voice in my head which is lame but I’m sure it will pass. I really hope that for your own sake you are actually happy in your relationship and you are doing what you want. I don’t get it though, why did you break up with him earlier on in the year? Why did you tell me that you planned before this that you were going to break up with him this year? Why did you tell me that for the past two years you’ve pretty much just been friends anyway? Why would you tell me all these things then disappear all of a sudden? Like I don’t even exist. The last time this happened you told me that you two weren’t done yet, so then why did you keep coming back to me? I wish you would just talk to me and tell me why. If you even know the reasons yourself.

Man, relationships are hard stuff. Geez.

One day down

jamesonthego — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 19:50:54 +0000

So, with the aide of not actually knowing your number (that’s a lie I have it memorized) and deleting it from my phone I’ve managed not to txt you all day. Hooray, lulz how silly do I sound right now. That should be motivation enough to get my head back on straight.

I spent most of my day at work sleeping anyway so it would have been hard to txt you in my sleep. There are still faint thoughts of you in my head but getting through the work day is good enough. My home life can exist without you for the most part. I just can’t stand the boredom. It’s like trying to quit heroin, the hardest pat is finding something to fill te void.